Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
A feeling of lost...
It was a strange feeling. I don’t know how to express it but it came to my mind once suddenly this morning. That was my feelings of lost, which were buried under my unconscious mind. As everyone aware of, it’s certain that you will lose some part of your soul likings at some time of your life journey and of course you may gain something else on the other part.
I was watching a beautiful girl who was anchoring a TV program. Then I just imagined her as an old lady. I felt a little bad because if youngness of that lady loses in course of time that will be a curse. But that is a common fate to every body. Time can take you to the best and worst in life, youthfulness is a precious gift and incomparable asset to everyone, while it takes away from you after a short time. See the inhuman and rough nature of the time. It’s the saddest and intolerable part of it. Once upon a time, youth was your power, slowly with time you would get older and it diminishes your confidence in love, special attire, the glancing in eyes, the body, the ability in experiencing the magical sexual intercourse etc. If all it takes away; Alas! How one can tolerate to this irresistible time.
The childhood is another remarkable lost feeling. I remember it is this time, which take away my child hood and carried me to this youthfulness. I forced to step down to a world of responsibility. I was the supreme king of my home at one time. I was the hope of course but I was free, everyone had allowed to me to learn from any level of mistakes- mistakes were allowed, because all agreed in that the learning always started from it. I kept playing, dancing, quarreling and crying with my elder sisters. To me they were as supportive as an umbrella in rain, still they are, but now I can realize their world and horizons are redefined. There are limitations because they are married and of course they have to take care of children and their spouses. I am secondary to them. The feeling of being a child with them is truly special. I lost it.
A grown young man may have different loses. As an example, now a day, I started dreaming a girl. My mind is filled with some beautiful thinking on her. I didn’t see her, but when I imagine that I am talking to her over phone I am enjoying. I can feel a hormonal rhythm with a universal love spirit which binds two different hearts. It makes me to smile alone sometimes. Believe me!!! It’s not easy to grow a smile on your face unless and until you are truly happy in a thrilling matter. It’s an ultimate joy or divine spirit, which god had created on humans. That should be an eternal feeling. When she laughs while sharing a joke, when her sound shatters and warns me on a fun on her, I get in to a special feeling, which a human mind with a happy sense only can experience.
I know, may be, this special feeling also will lose in course of time. I may be pulled to the scariness of the beloved sacrifices of the life or I may start thinking in a different way to fulfill my financial ambitions, so to avoid a love to get a more stable life.
But it remains me one thing. The time may take away all my happiness at present (may be my sadness) but the feeling of lost still survives, giving my heart an indefinable state of a feeling (in a creative and constructive manner) , which leaves a special pain in my lower abdomen.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Thoughts at present...
Explanation:Love is embraced with a peace loving Dove. Shining sun and clouds are in the sky to warm and prosper the relation. A constantly watching eye is caring it. Homes are to be matched because a relation tie up two families too. A bottle is in question! Finally finite roads are still to be covered/crossed.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
An interesting tale from the art of malpracticing in exam....
It was fun and big risk always, to copy something in an examination hall. I have tried it many times and got considerably well expertise in it. I don't know exactly why I was doing so, but it all was necessary at those times, especially when I have not learned/prepared things from an examination point of view.
When I was in 9th std, while I was trying to help answer some multiple choices from a question paper of a lower class student, who was sitting beside me, by pointing my pen to the answers. Our headmaster during a visit correctly looked on my pen and his paper and came straight to me and slapped on my shoulder with his bare hands. It made a blasting sound in the then silent examination hall. He took me to his office and allowed me to write there the rest. This was so shameful and I was really in stigmata. I don't know what impact it gave on me, but it never stopped me for trying in to the fun/trouble of malpractice.
My exams at BU, were always painful, since I din't want to mug up and vomit everything in to a paper. But unfortunately most of the exams were like that there. It was difficult to remember full length long equations, formula's. So there were only one solution. Write the necessary things in a chit and carefully copy it.
Later I understood that there is no importance in remembering a big equations rather than deriving or understanding it because an equation can be retrieved from any sources. There are places, where we can write open book exams and write and keep all necessary formulas and equations during the exam. There are exams, where you will be given your questions and you have to answer it at your home and submit it back. These all are excellent methods and even performances in class and the assignments are contributed to the final grades. It's all interesting if you are really wanted to know things rather than a better power to remember full pages of your text books.
Being a BU student, I wanted to write exams at the semester ends. No class-mid term exam's, assignments etc were there. Teacher may come and explain something and go back and are not worried about whether we understood it or not. They didn't allow you to discuss your doubts in the class and it was because their lack of knowledge, which I realized later. There were exceptions, like Pandey, was so special in his style of teaching. I did not find anybody else with that much clarity and confidence in teaching with great care and appreciation. The conclusion is good teachers are very rare in this universe.
So I practiced and excelled in copying. A semester end learning was so pathetic, especially to me.
Once, it was so hot in Bhopal ~ 45 degree Celsius and our rented room was at the top of a concrete building complex. It was exhausting inside and a fan never gave relief because it was also pumping the hot air. We had no money to purchase a cooler or an AC. There were some green house effect also, so that the incoming heat never went out. It was drying and my condition was so serious. I had four exams, I had managed to complete three. I didn't have interest even to touch the fourth paper. Together with the climatic condition it all went in to more serious problems. My body went down everyday and slowly I was losing my memory capacity too. The other exams are somehow I performed, but the last exam, which I ever feared came. All the night I struggled to learn something, but always lost my control and slept unconscious. The inner soul always scared about the result and when I woke up I had no other choice except malpractice. I made a comprehensive plan for copying.
I written six essays of importance quickly, which are said to be sure for the exams, and placed at the six places of my hip, in between the belt and the pants. I chosen to wear my shirt keeping outside. Now how can I remember where and all I placed the specific essays. So I drawn a final chit, in which I marked where and all the essays are kept. The exam was comparatively easy and all the expected questions are came. Since I was in the last row, I successfully copied everything in to my paper.
And I got the third toppest mark in the paper.
Tales 1: One of my seniors, are very talented in copying. He uses rollers for copying. the a4 size paper cut in to 4 long pieces and use as rolled chits. Keep it in the left palm while writing and slowly unfold it and the end part also keep rolling to avoid a possible appearance. There are girls who writes in towels and shawls.
Tales 2: Two people interchanged some their answer papers during exam. A new invigilator came and he carefully started watching these people. They were not able to give it back. They had no choice, unless to get sacked by him. So they submitted by keeping it with their papers. Ignoring their different handwriting and different inks, both got good percentage in that paper. God know's who evaluated it?
So that's it...
When I was in 9th std, while I was trying to help answer some multiple choices from a question paper of a lower class student, who was sitting beside me, by pointing my pen to the answers. Our headmaster during a visit correctly looked on my pen and his paper and came straight to me and slapped on my shoulder with his bare hands. It made a blasting sound in the then silent examination hall. He took me to his office and allowed me to write there the rest. This was so shameful and I was really in stigmata. I don't know what impact it gave on me, but it never stopped me for trying in to the fun/trouble of malpractice.
My exams at BU, were always painful, since I din't want to mug up and vomit everything in to a paper. But unfortunately most of the exams were like that there. It was difficult to remember full length long equations, formula's. So there were only one solution. Write the necessary things in a chit and carefully copy it.
Later I understood that there is no importance in remembering a big equations rather than deriving or understanding it because an equation can be retrieved from any sources. There are places, where we can write open book exams and write and keep all necessary formulas and equations during the exam. There are exams, where you will be given your questions and you have to answer it at your home and submit it back. These all are excellent methods and even performances in class and the assignments are contributed to the final grades. It's all interesting if you are really wanted to know things rather than a better power to remember full pages of your text books.
Being a BU student, I wanted to write exams at the semester ends. No class-mid term exam's, assignments etc were there. Teacher may come and explain something and go back and are not worried about whether we understood it or not. They didn't allow you to discuss your doubts in the class and it was because their lack of knowledge, which I realized later. There were exceptions, like Pandey, was so special in his style of teaching. I did not find anybody else with that much clarity and confidence in teaching with great care and appreciation. The conclusion is good teachers are very rare in this universe.
So I practiced and excelled in copying. A semester end learning was so pathetic, especially to me.
Once, it was so hot in Bhopal ~ 45 degree Celsius and our rented room was at the top of a concrete building complex. It was exhausting inside and a fan never gave relief because it was also pumping the hot air. We had no money to purchase a cooler or an AC. There were some green house effect also, so that the incoming heat never went out. It was drying and my condition was so serious. I had four exams, I had managed to complete three. I didn't have interest even to touch the fourth paper. Together with the climatic condition it all went in to more serious problems. My body went down everyday and slowly I was losing my memory capacity too. The other exams are somehow I performed, but the last exam, which I ever feared came. All the night I struggled to learn something, but always lost my control and slept unconscious. The inner soul always scared about the result and when I woke up I had no other choice except malpractice. I made a comprehensive plan for copying.
I written six essays of importance quickly, which are said to be sure for the exams, and placed at the six places of my hip, in between the belt and the pants. I chosen to wear my shirt keeping outside. Now how can I remember where and all I placed the specific essays. So I drawn a final chit, in which I marked where and all the essays are kept. The exam was comparatively easy and all the expected questions are came. Since I was in the last row, I successfully copied everything in to my paper.
And I got the third toppest mark in the paper.
Tales 1: One of my seniors, are very talented in copying. He uses rollers for copying. the a4 size paper cut in to 4 long pieces and use as rolled chits. Keep it in the left palm while writing and slowly unfold it and the end part also keep rolling to avoid a possible appearance. There are girls who writes in towels and shawls.
Tales 2: Two people interchanged some their answer papers during exam. A new invigilator came and he carefully started watching these people. They were not able to give it back. They had no choice, unless to get sacked by him. So they submitted by keeping it with their papers. Ignoring their different handwriting and different inks, both got good percentage in that paper. God know's who evaluated it?
So that's it...
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