Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A feeling of lost...

It was a strange feeling. I don’t know how to express it but it came to my mind once suddenly this morning. That was my feelings of lost, which were buried under my unconscious mind. As everyone aware of, it’s certain that you will lose some part of your soul likings at some time of your life journey and of course you may gain something else on the other part.


I was watching a beautiful girl who was anchoring a TV program. Then I just imagined her as an old lady. I felt a little bad because if youngness of that lady loses in course of time that will be a curse. But that is a common fate to every body. Time can take you to the best and worst in life, youthfulness is a precious gift and incomparable asset to everyone, while it takes away from you after a short time. See the inhuman and rough nature of the time. It’s the saddest and intolerable part of it. Once upon a time, youth was your power, slowly with time you would get older and it diminishes your confidence in love, special attire, the glancing in eyes, the body, the ability in experiencing the magical sexual intercourse etc. If all it takes away; Alas! How one can tolerate to this irresistible time.


The childhood is another remarkable lost feeling. I remember it is this time, which take away my child hood and carried me to this youthfulness. I forced to step down to a world of responsibility. I was the supreme king of my home at one time. I was the hope of course but I was free, everyone had allowed to me to learn from any level of mistakes- mistakes were allowed, because all agreed in that the learning always started from it. I kept playing, dancing, quarreling and crying with my elder sisters. To me they were as supportive as an umbrella in rain, still they are, but now I can realize their world and horizons are redefined. There are limitations because they are married and of course they have to take care of children and their spouses. I am secondary to them. The feeling of being a child with them is truly special. I lost it.


A grown young man may have different loses. As an example, now a day, I started dreaming a girl. My mind is filled with some beautiful thinking on her. I didn’t see her, but when I imagine that I am talking to her over phone I am enjoying. I can feel a hormonal rhythm with a universal love spirit which binds two different hearts. It makes me to smile alone sometimes. Believe me!!! It’s not easy to grow a smile on your face unless and until you are truly happy in a thrilling matter. It’s an ultimate joy or divine spirit, which god had created on humans. That should be an eternal feeling. When she laughs while sharing a joke, when her sound shatters and warns me on a fun on her, I get in to a special feeling, which a human mind with a happy sense only can experience.


I know, may be, this special feeling also will lose in course of time. I may be pulled to the scariness of the beloved sacrifices of the life or I may start thinking in a different way to fulfill my financial ambitions, so to avoid a love to get a more stable life.


But it remains me one thing. The time may take away all my happiness at present (may be my sadness) but the feeling of lost still survives, giving my heart an indefinable state of a feeling (in a creative and constructive manner) , which leaves a special pain in my lower abdomen.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Thoughts at present...

Explanation:
Love is embraced with a peace loving Dove. Shining sun and clouds are in the sky to warm and prosper the relation. A constantly watching eye is caring it. Homes are to be matched because a relation tie up two families too. A bottle is in question! Finally finite roads are still to be covered/crossed.